Paint an N Above My Door


Paint an N above my Door

Hate me because I love

I will love you anyway

Terrorize my village

Make love illegal if you wish

I will continue to love you anyway

Behead me and impale it on a stake

Make an example of the N word

My love holds no bounds

It flows freely and I am not ashamed

Love will rise again and again

The Apparition


Through a foggy misty eyed gaze

I caught glimpse of a Sunflower Garden

My ears heard the gentle swish of water

Rolling in on the beach near the shore

An aapparition-baldovino-barani-scmp-magazine--large-msg-13440158495apparition in the garden beckoned me

I listened closely with my eyes

Opening my ears for a clearer view

My mind had opened up enough

To recognize the apparition of my late Mother

Gesturing for me to Stop before I plunged from the cliff

Freedom in Submission


Through the act of submission

I can be Myself

It releases me of all my burdens

Laying them into the Keeper’s Hands

Through submission there is no need for strength

Nor for the front of false bravado

He enrobes me in his silken love

He Keeps me safe

He is The Keeper of My Soul

 

 

 

Don’t Ask Me


Breathe it in

Then breathe it out

Carry them away

In a body bag

Home to Mom and Dad

Sit by your phone

Wheeling and dealing

Beads of sweat collecting

No, hold on a minute

How does that commercial go

Never let them see you sweat

Calm Cool and Collected

While they collect the casualties

Is it freedom or greedom we fight for

And it’s a One , two, three, don’t ask me

I don’t know what we are fighting for

They don’t want us over there

Sound vaguely familiar anyone

 

 

 

Behind The Sink


“Mother, I’m just going to turn the baby into the Firehouse and jump into the river!” Jennifer shouted at her Mother as she was trying to make her way out the door.

Jennifer had been living with her Mother off and on for over two years now, and was battling both addiction and mental illness. A wicked combination. Her Mother, Jane, carried her own demons as well, but tried to maintain them for the sake of her family.

Jane had sought advice from friends in support groups about Jennifer, and Tough Love was suggested. It was time to make Jennifer grow or go, to stand on her own two feet. Her sickness was spreading to other members of the family, and unwilling to get any real help, Jane told her that she had to move out. She believed that Jennifer was saying these things out of manipulation, to get her to change her mind, as she had done so many times in the past. She told Jennifer that she had no control over what she did and left the house.

Jane heard a pounding on the front glass, she turned around and could see Jennifer brandishing a butcher knife, waving it around hysterically. She was screaming something inaudible. She placed the knife to her neck then to her wrists. Terror rose up in Jane’s heart. The baby was still in the house. Fumbling through her purse, she found her cellphone and called the emergency hotline.

“Help Me! My daughter is in the house with a baby and butcher knife threatening to kill herself!” Jane exclaimed frantically to the dispatcher.

Within minutes police and an ambulance were on the scene. Jane told them everything that had transpired that morning, and they went in the house to find Jennifer sitting calmy at the kitchen table.

The Patrolman informed her that she had to go for an evaluation at the hospital. She became indifferent telling him she did nothing wrong, and that they had no proof except the hearsay of a woman who wants her out of her home. A woman whom she made sure it was noted for the record had a scar on her left wrist from a botched suicide attempt . A woman who is on Bipolar Medication. Who should they believe, the one on medication with a twenty year old scar or someone without a smoking gun, so to speak?

Jennifer spoke with the officer’s supervisor and he tried to get her to go for an evaluation as well, but she insisted that she knew her rights, and that as long as she had no visible signs of trying to harm herself there was no possible way they could force her to go to the psychiatric center. He did escort her to her room to get some of her belongings and escort her from the house.

Later that day Jennifer called Jane Up after seeing that she had posted a Three Day Notice  of Eviction and told her that she would sign a notarized document stating that she agreed to move out for the best interest of all parties involved, in lieu of filing a formal eviction with the court, so long as Jane paid her one hundred dollars.  Jane realized she was being strong armed by Jennifer, but agreed.

Standing on the front porch, Jane and Jennifer were sharing a cigarette and trying to say goodbye. Jane still loved her daughter, she was, after all, her daughter.  Jennifer went off into conversation with Jane that made the hair on neck stand up.

“Mother, I put on quite the show today. Deny, Deny, Deny, and push it off on the other guy. You should have seen your face when I came to the door with that knife, “Jennifer chortled, ” You looked like I imagine one of your readers look when they read one of yours or Alex’s stories. I had them thinking you were the nutbag seeing things, I could almost hear Hitchcock music playing in the background. I even made a hundred bucks out of the deal. Oh , by the way, that butcher knife, it’s behind the sink in the kitchen. “

Prey For You


When you are alone

Cold and lonely

Life has given you

All that you can handle

I will prey for you

Finding yourself at your weakest

The darkest hole in your soul

Craving a place to run and hide

Wailing out in mired anguish of pain

During this time always remember

I will prey for you

Sugar Lovins


Give me all your sugar lovins

I’m in the mood for some sweet talkin

Whisper sugary words in my ears

Make all the years disappear

All you have to do is snap your finger

I’ll come running to your side

Gazing into your eyes I realize

I live for these stolen moments

After the show when you give me

All of your sweet sugar lovins

Grammahood


Twinkles in their voices

Their eyes light up with wonder

Chalk art on the sidewalk

Hide and Go Tag is their game

Keeping me on my toes

Strawberries and chocolate

Dripping from the kitchen chair

Belly laughs fill the air tonight

Stars fill their tiny eyes tonight

I remind them no one on earth

Bests them in anything they do

Nothing’s sweeter than Grammahood

 

Faceless Name


Swirling in sins

Dancing in my mind

Delusions wrapped around

Virtual telephone poles

Hiding behind a faceless name

A nameless face carries the shame

I feel all the blood drain far and away

Fears of tears spent on years of hiding

Castaway by the quill of my pen

 

 

 

Homespun Hymns


Skinny dipping with strawberries

Swirling bodies after the sand

Whirlpools of delight in your eyes

You sing to me homespun hymns

Odes to a life well spent if not misspent

Blending in with a bluesy backdrop of life

Ups and downs mired with ins and outs

Bringing me back to the center of your soul