Recently I have been using others for an excuse for my own insecurities and trepidation I am facing at this point in my life. It is so hard to admit that you are afraid of anything, especially when you are a strong aggressive woman. I am finally ready to admit that I am a tad bit afraid of jumping back into school and a new and challenging career, although it has been a lifelong passion of mine.
Fear of the unknown is not irrational. It is what I do with my fear that makes me sane or insane.
Several years ago I suffered from Agoraphopia. I could not leave my home, I was a prisoner of my own fear. This was the insanity, I hid from my problems rather than facing them and getting better. Until I was sick and tired of living the way I was living, life was full of darkness and seemed hopeless. I don’t wish to ever revisit that point in my life.
I force myself to socialize today, I don’t hide from people at the door. I go out with my friends for karaoke every Friday night. I get up there and sing and have returned to the social butterfly I always have been inside. My friends are so loving and supportive. My friends are my family. They remind me that I am capable of getting through anything, and I do the same for them. We support eachother’s decision’s. They won’t let me hide from myself.
Our time here is too precious to waste. Make the most of it.