Recently I had found a trash talking journal on myself and my departed mother. Some family members have accused me of being dominant, duh..I won’t allow abuse to occur in my house.
The following is a blog entry, which is public, where a daughter accuses her mother of feigning her cancer. Cancer that had spread to her brain and took her life a few months later.
The following is the post in it’s entirety:
How can I be so disappointed in my mother’s progress? Yes she beat cancer but now she has decided that she will be an invalild she has made herself believe that she is incapable of walking I don’t know what to do for her there is nothing physically wrong with her that would prevent her from walking or eating. If you mention food to her she starts to gag. If you tell her that she is doing this to totally irk people she starts to play dumb. She I know hates me. She can’t even see the fact that I am scared for myself. Yesterday I hurt my back so bad tending to her that I ended up spending the day in the doctor’s office trying to find out what is wrong with my back only to find out that I have a large black spot on my kidney. Yes I am scared but what the hell does that matter to her. She has no small children to worry about. I do no matter what it is on my kidney I still have to have surgery if it is a stone it will be to remove it if it is a tumor it is have a biopsy done it. Either way I am looking at surgery. She only thinks of herself I tried to tell her what was going on she could careless. I know that I am trying to be a good daughter to by making her want to get up and live but all she wants is to is to make everyone pissed at her. I am disappointed in her because she promised that she would never do anything like this that she would never give up but she is she is doing this because she knows How it makes me feel It makes me feel like shit because she knows I can not lift on her because of my wrist and my back. And my sister doesn’t even do anything to help me instead she calls me lazy I am in no way Lazy I have to learn to work around my pain. But I know that I came home because I was sick and needed someone to assist me. I am going blind; I have RA in my eyes, In my feet and back. I have degenerating muscles in my left wrist. Do they even care no. My sister and everyone here makes fun of me because I actively tell people about my pains of the day it is not that i want them to know is because my friends care if i am experiencing pain. They don’t like that I am in so much pain and not able to take anything for it because I think of being there for my children and my family and not take the heavy pain meds. I want my mommy back I need her but I don’t think she wants anything to do with me. She has come to this pass in her life where she thinks she should do what ever is right in her stupid brain. What she is doing is literally destroying any love I have ever had for her. She hit me this morning because I tried to get her to take her medication. And all her sister could do is encourage her behavior by letting her continue to abuse me.
posted by Debra @ 5:35 AM