Dr. Sadistic Ends World Hunger

National Agency for Food and Drug Administrati...
National Agency for Food and Drug Administration and Control (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

Dr. Sadistic was called in by the FDA to assist them in their cloning project. They were very eager to increase the World’s Food Supply and attempt to eradicate illness spread through meat and meat by-products.

 

At once he set up his laboratory, taking great care to keep separate the petri dishes of the various animals he would be duplicating. He had one for cattle, one for swine, one for chicken , one for lamb, and yes he had decided he would clone humans as well.

 

He achieved great success with the chicken and it was trickled into market by a Major Supplier , labeled as naturally grown without any additives. This was true to a certain extent,.There were no steroids or hormones in Dr. Sadistic’s chickens, They came out as exact duplicates of the original chicken he had taken the DNA from.  The chickens were a win/win for everyone involved. The government was pleased with Dr. Sadistic’s work and gave him additional funding and the greenlight to go ahead with any further cloning procedures he deemed suitable.

 

Dr. Sadistic enjoyed his role of playing God in the laboratory. He had decided that perhaps he would crossbreed the lamb and swine.  He chuckled to himself how it could be marketed as Kosher and Non-Kosher as well .  Of course the animal was truly an abomination, but did survive long enough to make it to the grindhouse. The Dr. figured that with the right seasonings and curing processes no one would be able to tell the difference, and no one could. he had achieved another miracle for the government.

 

The price of cattle had been rising beyond belief, perhaps it had been the way people had been hit hard with Mad Cow disease, or maybe it was all of those Damned Oil Ranchers in Texas raising up the prices. Either way, something had to be done.

 

Dr. Sadistic set out to clone cattle. Extracting DNA from a prize steer, he carefully placed the cells in the petri dish, when he pricked his finger, and a droplet of his blood fell into the dish. It occurred to him that this was the perfect opportunity to crossbreed humans with cattle.  He kept a far closer eye on this experiment than the other ones, being that he was vested personally in it.  The beast had grown to be grotesque in nature. A human head, with horns, a body of steer, the legs of an animal covered in hide and hair and the feet were cloven.  The eyes were as green as his. A true monstrosity.  His chest swelled with pride.

 

At once he sent the creature to the grindhouse, making patties of it for consumption.

 

A press conference was held unveiling the patties.

 

Dr. Sadistic chuckled to himself as he watched them eat his creation.

 

 

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